Best Quotes From Escort Sale Adverts

[RSI_TOM]

Totally standard except for x, y and z .

[pmurf125]

Flat front RS 2000 has to be my favourite.

[l j shaw]

Regrettable sale. .??..
Genuine Flat front RS2 with sunroof ....always makes me laugh

[escortmad79]

"Offers"

£100? £1500? £10000 Give us a clue!

[alancdavis]

Selling for a friend who hasent got a PC
Phone him and not me

[para144]

Why do so many people type in capital letters & forget about paragraphs when advertising on Ebay?

It is like a deliberate attempt to make it as difficult to read as possible

My eyes are bleeding! A genuine example (cut & pasted):


ITS WITH GREAT REGRET THAT MY MK2 ESCORT IS UP FOR SALE, ORIGINALLY STARTED LIFE AS A 2 DOOR 1.3, IN 1996 THE CAR WENT THROUGH A FULL MODIFICATION PROCESS, IN 2000 A WHINING CROWN WHEEL AND PINION LAID HER UP FOR A FEW MONTHS, MY FATHER PASSED AWAY IN 2001, HE ALSO BOUGHT ME THE CAR, AND I HAVENT GONE BACK TO IT, CAR WAS SITTING OUTSIDE FOR A NUMBER OF YEARS, GARAGED FOR THE LAST 7, SO SOME ROT HAS SET IN,I HAVE NOW TAKEN THE FRONT SEATS OUT, AFTER TAKING PHOTOS TODAY I HAVE BEEN SHOCKED TO FIND THAT ITS NOT BAD AT ALL, ALSO THERE WILL BE AREAS THAT NEED ATTENDING TO.THE CAR STILL LOOKS THE PART. THE SPEC IS AS FOLLOWS, I DONT HAVE ANY PAPERWORK TO SUPPORT, PINTO ENGINE WITH STROKER CRANK TAKING IT ABOVE 2100CC, THE BOTTOM END WAS ALL LIGHTENED AND BALANCED AT BUILD, CRANK RODS AND PISTONS WERE ALL UPRATED ITEMS, CAMSHAFT I BELIEVE IS KENT RL31, BIGGER VALVE HEAD WHICH WAS PORTED AND POLISHED AT BUILD,VERNIER PULLEY, COMPRESSION WAS RAISED,CARBS ARE WEBBER TWIN 50 ITEMS, THERE IS AN EXTERNAL ALUMINIUM BREATHER AND OIL COOLER, FACET FUEL PUMP, UPRATED ALTERNATOR, 4 BRANCH MANIFOLD ONTO SPECIALLY MADE EXHAUST SYSTEM, I DONT HAVE THE DYNO PRINT AT TME OF BUILD BUT IT WAS 191BHP, WITH A LOWER TORQUE FIGURE, BIGGER RADIATOR ALSO. A SPECIAL AIRBOX WAS MADE FOR THE HUGE CARBS WITH A K&N CONE FILTER ATTACHMENT,ELECTRIC FANS AND AEROQUIP LINES THE GEARBOX IS A SIERRA 5 SPEED WITH A QUICKSHIFT, I ADDED AN AP RACING CLUTCH IN 1999/2000, PROPSHAFT I BELIEVE IS ONE PIECE, I CANT REMEBER WHAT YOU CALL THE AXLE BUT IT DOES HAVE A LIMITED SLIP DIFF, ITS NOT AN ATLAS IF I REMEBER, THE FINAL DRIVE WAS 3.54, BUT WHEN IT STARTED WHINING I CHANGED THE CROWN WHEEL AND PINION TO A 3.9 AS PER ADVISE GIVEN, THE CAR NEVER WENT BACK ON THE ROAD SO THIS HAS ONLY BEEN FITTED AND NOT DRIVEN ON. SUSPENSION FROM MEMORY IS CAPRI 2.8INJECTION STRUTS AT THE FRONT, I CANT REMEMBER WHAT POUNDAGE THE SPRINGS ARE BUT THEY WERE ROCK SOLID WITH UPRATED TOP MOUNTS, ADGJUSTABLE TRACK CONTROL ARMS, ROSE JOINTS IF MY MEMORY SERVES ME WELL MAKING IT FULLY ADJUSTABLE AT THE FRONT IT ALSO HAD COMPRESSION STRUTS FITTED, I AM NOT SURE IF THERE IS AN ANTI ROLL BAR,STEERING IS AQUICK RACK . THE REAR IS ON UPRATED LEAF SPRINGS ,BILSTEIN SHOCKS WITH A PANHARD ROD. BRAKES ARE CAPRI 2.8INJECTION AT THE FRONT WITH MINTEX PADS, rEAR ITEMS ARE LARGER DRUMS.THERE IS NO SERVO INSIDE THE CAR HAS A ROLL CAGE WITH NO DOOR BARS BUT GOING INTO THE FOOTWELLS,BOLTED AND WELDED IF I REMEMBER,SPARCO DRIVERS SEAT WITH HARNESS, STANDARD PASSENGER, NO REAR SEAT OR CARPETS, A PANEL WAS BUILT WHICH HOUSED SWITCHES FOR IGNITION,FANS AND FUEL PUMP. CAR IS BLUE IN COLOUR BUT WILL NEED WORK ON THE SHELL AS SHE HAS BEEN STANDING, HASNT BEEN STARTED IN YEARS BUT NOT A GOOD IDEA UNTILL THE CAMBELT HAS BEEN CHANGED! tHIS IS WHY I AM SELLING IT AS SPARES/REPAIRS, BUT THIS CAR IS READY TO COME BACK WITH THE RIGHT OWNER. i CANT VIND THE V5 AT THE MOMENT, I CAN REAPPLY OR WINNER CAN, I WILL GO TO THE POLICVE STATION WITH YOU SO YOU CAN BE SATISFIED IT IS NOT STOLEN OR BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE. MY MOBILE NUMBER IS 07901967721, CAR IS IN COVENTRY, CASH ON COLLECTION, £500 DEPOSIT REUIRED VIA PAYPAL OR BANK TRANSER WITHIN 24HOURS WHICH IS NON REFUNDABLE IF SALE IS NOT COMPLETED

[para144]

This bit ammuses me:

" i CANT VIND THE V5 AT THE MOMENT, I CAN REAPPLY OR WINNER CAN, I WILL GO TO THE POLICVE STATION WITH YOU SO YOU CAN BE SATISFIED IT IS NOT STOLEN OR BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE."

[andyb]

If it doesn't sell I will keep it

should read if it doesn't sell I will HAVE to keep it !

[ATR477V]

A credit to it's previous owner.

[grum]

And the most famous of all ..........

Baby forces sale

[alancdavis]

Loss of job forces sale

[steven f]

if it doesn't sell i will keep it

should read if it doesn't sell i will have to keep it !

:d:d:d:d:d:d

[Martin]

or Too many projects so one has to go

meaning : I am way out of my depth with this and hoping to cash in with some poor schmuck

[vinny]

Loss of job forces sale

**** me , hope you never get in financial problems

[l j shaw]

Featured in ?????? .... And then they mention a car magazine,

Is always a good one,