Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

how to cure the uk economy

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
  • #1

    how to cure the uk economy

    Subject: Letter to Mr. Cameron - Genius!!

    Dear Mr. Cameron,

    Please find below our suggestion for fixing the UK 's economy.

    Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.

    You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:

    There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.

    Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with the following stipulations:

    1) They MUST retire.
    Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed

    2) They MUST buy a new British car.
    Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed

    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
    Housing Crisis fixed

    4) They MUST send their kids to school/college/university -
    Crime rate fixed

    5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week .....
    And there's your money back in duty/tax etc

    It can't get any easier than that!

    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances

    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know.

    Also......
    Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing home..

    This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.

    They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.

    They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.

    Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them.

    A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell.

    They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.

    They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool and education.

    Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be free, on request.

    Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard, with gardens.

    Each senior could have a PC a TV radio and daily phone calls.

    There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

    The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised. Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.

    Think about this (more points of contention):

    COWS
    Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county of Cumbria?

    And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

    Also;
    Think about this ... If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone -- YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! It is time for us grumpy old folk of Britain to speak up!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Sadly this is so close to the truth it aint funny!!!!!.

    Comment

    • #3
      Ha Ha , very good .
      sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
      Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
      12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

      Comment

      • #4
        Those pricks in goverment want too sort out the fuel tax and the local council rip off parking charges first .

        My days work in town :

        Fuel for van there and back = £10 diesil (nearly all tax)
        Congestion zone tax = £10
        Parking tax = £4.40 an hour

        They expect people too pay that lot everyday before making a penny .
        sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
        Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
        12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Originally posted by mk1gaz View Post
          Those pricks in goverment want too sort out the fuel tax and the local council rip off parking charges first .

          My days work in town :

          Fuel for van there and back = £10 diesil (nearly all tax)
          Congestion zone tax = £10
          Parking tax = £4.40 an hour

          They expect people too pay that lot everyday before making a penny .

          crikey now thats a rip of

          Comment

          • #6
            Proper rip off .
            Wifey got all excited when i earnt £800 after tax last week until i told her it cost £300 to get the van 12 miles up the road and parked on a meter !!!! WTF
            sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
            Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
            12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

            Comment

            • #7
              I kid you not . One day last week i worked from 8am right through to 11.30pm swopping over a fire alarm system and then getting it all working etc and i had to give Westminster council nearly £80 for keeping the van outside the job !!!!! WTF
              I wouldn't mind but you still have too move the van every 4 hours looking for new parking spaces as you can't stay in the same spot or else they fine you £120 . . Then the tossers even charge you a 20p service charge for ringing up and paying for the parking in the new spot !!!! Unbelievable .
              sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
              Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
              12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by mk1gaz View Post
                I kid you not . One day last week i worked from 8am right through to 11.30pm swopping over a fire alarm system and then getting it all working etc and i had to give Westminster council nearly £80 for keeping the van outside the job !!!!! WTF
                I wouldn't mind but you still have too move the van every 4 hours looking for new parking spaces as you can't stay in the same spot or else they fine you £120 . . Then the tossers even charge you a 20p service charge for ringing up and paying for the parking in the new spot !!!! Unbelievable .

                Maybe if all the antique, polluting, scaffold trucks hadn't ripped the arse out of it by blocking the network up it wouldn't have been neccessary
                Stangely bizzare as it seems there are more people needing to move around London than tradesmen who need their vans 6' from where they are working incase they forgot a pair of pliers

                As said above you obviously now just charge more so what's the problem?
                Would you like extortionate rates and free parking LOL
                Think of the money you would make if your missus just dropped you off.
                We're not Brazil, we're Northern Ireland

                Comment

                • #9
                  Originally posted by mk1gaz View Post
                  I kid you not . One day last week i worked from 8am right through to 11.30pm swopping over a fire alarm system and then getting it all working etc and i had to give Westminster council nearly £80 for keeping the van outside the job !!!!! WTF
                  I wouldn't mind but you still have too move the van every 4 hours looking for new parking spaces as you can't stay in the same spot or else they fine you £120 . . Then the tossers even charge you a 20p service charge for ringing up and paying for the parking in the new spot !!!! Unbelievable .
                  If its an all dayer sometimes easier and cheaper to use the car parks max £40 for the day.

                  It only takes that long to do a Fire Alarm if its a sparks not knowing what hes doin keep to the 240

                  From a Fire Alarm Engineer
                  CheeRS Neil

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Typical pen pusher comments , lol .
                    We need to park nearby because we have tons of crap to hump about when doing work , not just a Bic and tipex . The council rip us off so we fill their ticket machines with foam and 20mm knock outs , Ha Ha .
                    sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
                    Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
                    12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Originally posted by 191964 View Post
                      If its an all dayer sometimes easier and cheaper to use the car parks max £40 for the day.

                      It only takes that long to do a Fire Alarm if its a sparks not knowing what hes doin keep to the 240
                      etc
                      From a Fire Alarm Engineer
                      The van can't fit in the £40 a day car parks as the roof rack and ladders are too high . We can do fire alarms very easily , we do more fire alarms than normal electricial jobs these days , we even do work for fire alarm companies as they can't do install or fix wiring faults .
                      sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
                      Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
                      12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Unfortunately, this is still more likely to be the case over here:

                        404 Not Found
                        http://www.politicallyincorrect.me.uk/squirrel.htm

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Originally posted by mk1gaz View Post
                          The van can't fit in the £40 a day car parks as the roof rack and ladders are too high . We can do fire alarms very easily , we do more fire alarms than normal electricial jobs these days , we even do work for fire alarm companies as they can't do install or fix wiring faults .
                          Get a smaller van , I've only had cars or car derived vans ,even then sometimes have to take the ladder clamps off to get in.
                          There`s plenty of poor sparks and fire alarm companys out there fortunately as it keeps us both in work ,we do a lot for other Fire companies including some of the big ones, also install & fault tracing.
                          CheeRS Neil

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            I've got an Escort van and it won't fit with the roof rack and ladders i need with me at all times plus i'm never near a car park usually , only meters .
                            We do all electrical and fire alarm works so need alot of crap with us all the time incase we get a call out to an emergency. Just the fire alarm stuff takes up enough room on it's own , i would take up half a carrage on the train , lol .
                            The fact that the local councils rip of people for £50 a day parking etc just shows that the goverment are not interesting in helping buisness' etc survive . All they want is money for nothing so they can waste it on putting silly raised junction brick speed bumps everywhere .
                            sigpic 2.1 ATMO YB POWER .
                            Tick tock goes the clock and the clock don't lie .
                            12.4sec to 109mph With NO turbo , NO gay trailer , NO slicks , NO gas , NO race fuel and NO bits missing . Beat that !!!!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by BAY150T View Post
                              Unfortunately, this is still more likely to be the case over here:

                              http://www.politicallyincorrect.me.uk/squirrel.htm

                              funny but sadly true

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X