genuine letter that was recieved at uk passport office

[steven f]

ACTUAL PASSPORT LETTER-----(...excuse the swearing...)-----HILARIOUS!!!

This letter is a thing of great beauty (even if the language is a bit strong)...
You definitely feel the guy's pain!

Dear Sirs,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport and still cannot believe this. How is it that Sky Television has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a bleeding satellite dish from them back in 1977 and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was bloody born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my pension book and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my National Health card, my driving license, my car insurance, on the last eight damn passports I've had, on
all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the plane over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my Mother's name is Mary Anne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be abso-****ing-lutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

I apologise, I'm really ****ed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ****ing address !!!!

What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthal arseholes working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my arse on some sandy beach somewhere. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, you'd be the last ****ing people I'd want to tell!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the poxy city to get another ****ing copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of £30. Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooooooooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe makes sense. You'd rather have us running all over the ****in' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then have to find some arsehole to confirm that it's really me on the damn picture - you know, the one where we're not
allowed to smile?! (bureaucratic ****in' morons) Hey, do you know why we couldn't smile if we wanted to? Because we're totally ****ed off!

Signed
An Irate Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 ........ I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had full security clearances over 25 of those years enabling me to undertake highly secretive missions all over the world. ........ However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ****ING PAKISTAN !

[GraemeJ]

Too true, he's missed the £82 quid they relieve you of for the privelege too

[cossie si]

Fantastic, hope he got someone with a sense of humour at the other end

[TimGR]

Reminds me of this:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/travelnews/4344890/Virgin-the-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html

[alancdavis]

all very true

[Frosticles]

Excellent. Had a nightmare in 1993 when I had to renew my passport. Had to go back and forth to Peterborough 3 times in 1 day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[RS_Fiesta]

Nice one

[prs]

classic read, renewing a passport isn't too bad over here , but try applying for a bank loan or an overdraft some banks have a 16 page application booklet now - tossers

[rwdrs]

classic read, renewing a passport isn't too bad over here , but try applying for a bank loan or an overdraft some banks have a 16 page application booklet now - tossers

You know why that is now don't you ...

It's all those lines Mr Barrosso, Mrs Merkel and crackpot Sarko have given the bankers to do while their waiting for all that filthy German lucre

[rwdrs]

My sister had a dose of the UK farseport office a couple of years back.

She ordered a passport but it took so long she'd moved in the meantime.
Subsequently, the couriers (wrongly) handed the passport to her old landlady, only the passport holder is allowed to sign for it.
After contacting her old landlady who refused to hand it over, finally found out that she'd sent it back to Newport. She contacted the passport office and they said they'd destroyed her new passport as it had been returned.

Of course there was no new (free) replacement, maybe she could have got some compo out of the couriers as that costs alone 10 quid, but she didn't bother.

So by the time she reapplied, what with two lots of photos, having to make several trips to get people to countersign the photos and a total loss on the first passport, she'd paid 200 quid to get hold of a valid passport.

If you owed that to the local council and refused to pay, the f****ers would lock you up. One of the snooty cows on the phone even had the cheek to say, "you can complain if you want to, but it won't get you anywhere, it never does."

In other words those gits are above the law, hope the current govt start giving people more right to hold bodies like that to account. If they "balls it up", then they should be made to sort it out and forced to do so, by an onbudsman if necessary.

[dustydog]

Good on him i say

[M1TCH]

The wife and i have just applied to renew our passports, so we fill in the forms poped them in the same envelope with the cheque, off they go, six weeks later a chap turns up at my front door at 18.00hrs with an envelope telling me ive got no letter box to which i say i know as we hare having a new porch built so our postman leaves the mail on the outside loo floor to which he says well he was going to take the letter back to peterbrough if i was not in and i had no letter box but could i sign here, so my question i then asked was why does it matter if i had a letter box if i need to sign for it derrrr no answer blank look anyway i digress i get said letter to find its my wifes old passport with the corner cut off ??? so in this time of cut backs and lowering our carbon footprint by my reconing this is going to take four visits by this chap mind you he now knows we dont have a letter box, i then get a letter left in the out side loo so can conclude it was John my postman that bought it as he knows i dont have a letter box, the said letter informs me that my application has been rejected due to my photo having reflextion from my glasses that ive had to wear since the age of 18months (not the same ones) telling me to send more photos without glasses even though i have them on every photo id i carry, which i have done at the cost of £5 from one of them mechines at tescos, my wife then gets a letter on the outside loo floor telling her that her passport will be delivered on Wednesday between 09.00hrs/12.00hrs it turned up at 15.00hrs so we missed our weekly food shop that week and i had to eat beans on toast for three days until a resedueled shopping day, so the good news is her in doors has hers but im still waiting for mine so i will be seeing the chap twice for a signeture before i get mine but i cant wait the next time i go through passport control with a photo with no glasses on and they say thats not you can you come with me and bend over this table for a quick look up your botty

[87cos]

maybe their trying to stop anymore taxpayers from leaving this s***hole for good

[Groupcracer]

it's no different here.

I had a girl from my gas company ring me at home to discuss cancellation which I ahd organised due to their incompetance and she asked me to answer some quesstions to verify who I was......

You've rung me I said to whihc she replied yes but you could be anyone...... well then send me a letter to my home address (I work for Aussie Post, got to keep the letter volumes up.). She then said she couldn't because they would need to verify who I was before they sent it.....

At that point I had arsehole failure and let her have it with both barrels.