Joke too!

[dasadrew]

Two men are driving with their RS through Liverpool when they get pulled over by the boys in blue.
The cop walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and WHACK, the cop smacks him in the head with the stick.

"What the hell was that for?" the driver asks.
"You're in Liverpool" the copper answers. "When we pull you over, you better have your license ready when we get to your car."
"I'm sorry, officer," the driver says, "I'm from Yorkshire".
The copper runs a check on the guy's license--he's clean-- and gives the guy his license back.
The copper then walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls down the window and WHACK, the copper smacks him on the head with the nightstick.

"What'd you do that for?" the passenger asks.
"Just making your WISH come true," replies the copper.
"Making WHAT WISH come true?" the passenger asks.
"Because I know," the copper says," that two miles down the road you're gonna turn to your friend and say, "I WISH that ******* would've tried that **** with me!"

[anddon]

very good

[Roger Miller]

Nice one !

Here's an oldie..............



Hung Chow calls in to work and says,

"Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work."

The boss says,

"You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her, give me SEX!!
That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again:

"Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house."

[M11RF]

Nice joke Das... All too true!!!!

nice joke to RM





:laughing6:

[RS2000&MEXICO]

very good m8 i like that...lol

[dasadrew]

An old man sees the neighbor's kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"Roll of chicken wire."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch some chickens."
"You damn fool! You can't catch chickens with chicken wire!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That evening at sunset, the boy comes walking by, dragging behind him the chicken wire with about 30 chickens caught in it.

The next morning, he is out watching the sun rise and he sees the boy walk by carrying something in his hand. "Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"Roll of duct tape."
"What you gonna do with that?"
"Gonna catch me some ducks."
"You damn fool! You can't catch ducks with duct tape!"
The boy just laughs and keeps walking.
That night around sunset the boy walks by, trailing behind him the unrolled roll of duct tape with about 35 ducks caught in it.

The next morning, he sees the boy walking by carrying what looks like a long reed with something fuzzy on the end. ''Hey boy, whatcha got there?"
"It's a p u s s y willow."
"Wait up...I'll get my hat."

[dasadrew]

MI5 had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists ... two men and a woman. For the final test, the MI5 agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.. "This gun is loaded with blanks,” she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

[dasadrew]

For his birthday Little Steve asked for a 10 speed bicycle. His father said, "Son, we'd give you one, but the mortgage on this house is £180,000 and your mother just lost her job. There's no way we can afford it."

The next day the father watched as Little Steve headed out the front door with a suitcase. So he asked, "Son, where are you going?"
Little Steve told him, "I was walking past your room last night and I heard you tell mom you were pulling out. I heard her tell you to wait because she was coming too. And I'll be damned if I'm sticking around here by myself with an £180,000 mortgage and no transportation."

[GAZ W]

all booking frilliant

[dasadrew]

Two couples were playing poker one evening.

Steve accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress!

Shocked by this, Steve upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, Steve went to the kitchen to get some refreshments.

Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked under there?" Surprised by her boldness, Steve courageously admitted that, well indeed he did.

She said, " Well, you can have it but it will cost you £500."

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Steve confirms that he is interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday afternoons and Steve doesn't, Steve should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Steve showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of £500 they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. Steve quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did Steve come by the house this afternoon?"

With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon."

Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And did he give you £500?"

In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did give me £500."

Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, "Good, I was hoping he did. He came by the office this morning and borrowed £500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back."