I decided on friday that i would take the children to County Durham to see the festivities, so we jumped in the car and set off. One hour later we were getting very near to the town centre, when the Police stopped us, walked round our car and then gave us an escort to the 'TREE'.
It turned out that because our car was Taxed and Insured they thought that we were the celebreties who had come to turn the lights on, all 5 of them. the youngest is still complaining of headaches due to the brightness of them.
Took them to Santas Grotto, but he just kept going on about Scumbags and Maggotts and cheap hearted faggotts
we then went to get a Pek and Chop butty, told the kids when they asked what it was that its poor mans spam with brown sauce on it. couldnt really tell them that it was tits and arseholes and lips could i?
the the real celebreties turned up it was Peter Sutcliffe and a van full of guards, very nice and festive.
We then stood around and watched the locals slitting their wrists, it was like a mini red fireworks display. the children liked it when they had lost all the blood and were twitching on the floor.
then lastly we made our way back to our car and set off on the journey home singing christmas songs and our scarves were flapping about in the wind,
we had to sing ourselves as someone had smashed the window and nicked the stereo from the dash.
all in all a very good evening out,
did tell the kids if they dont behave for the rest off there lives i will take them back, oh how they cried.
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