joke

[RS2000&MEXICO]

i went to bed last night with the wife. i said to her if you want some sex pull on my nob once if you dont pull on 54 times..

[RS2000&MEXICO]

i know its not that good but ha what the hell ....did it make you laugh..??

[Roger Miller]

Hey Guys .... think twice!!!


A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 40miles per
hour. The wife is behind the wheel.

Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice.
"I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce."

The wife says nothing, keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly
increases her speed to 45mph.

The husband speaks again. "I don't want you to try and talk me out of
it," he says, "because I've been having an affair with your best
friend, and she's a far better lover than you are."

Again the wife stays quiet, but grips the steering wheel more tightly
and slowly increases the speed to 55.

He pushes his luck. "I want the house," he says insistently..

Up to 60.

"I want the car, too," he continues.

65 mph.

"And," he says, "I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards
and the boat!"

The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This
makes him nervous,so he asks her, "Isn't there anything you want?"

The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice. "No, I've
got everything I need," she says.

"Oh, really," he inquires, "so what have you got?"

Just before they slam into the wall at 65 mph, the wife turns to him
and
smiles. "The airbag."

[RS2000&MEXICO]

very good

[FoMoCo]

Paddy & Mick are walking through the jungle
when they see a crocodile with a mans head
sticking out of its mouth.

Paddy turns to Mick and says....













Look at that flash git with his Lacoste sleeping bag.

[raybs]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the
second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down
there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair
that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask
you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.

[RS2000&MEXICO]

your a bit late going all the way at 20 ..mmmmmmm

[GAZ W]

lol...very good a, all of em

[RS2000&MEXICO]

did you like them gaz....

[RS2000CUSTOM]

The Seven Dwarves were all in the bathtub, and they were all feeling happy… so Happy got out.

[Roger Miller]

Success joke was a goodun !
.
.
.
.

Two couples


Two couples were playing poker one evening. John accidentally dropped
some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick
them up, he noticed Bill's wife Sue wasn't wearing any underwear under
her dress!
Shocked by this, John upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head
on the table and emerged red-faced. Later, John went to the kitchen to
get some refreshments.
Bill's wife followed and asked, "Did you see anything that you liked
under there?" Surprised by her boldness, John courageously admitted
that, well indeed he did. She said, " Well, you can have it but it
will cost you $500." After taking a minute or two to assess the
financial and moral costs of this offer, John confirms that he is
interested. She tells him that since her husband Bill works Friday
afternoons and John doesn't, John should be at her house around 2 p.m.
Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, John showed up at Bill's house at 2 p.m.
sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 they went to the
bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed. John quickly dressed
and left.
As usual, Bill came home from work at 6 p.m. and upon entering the
house, asked his wife abruptly. "Did John come by the house this
afternoon?"
With a lump in her throat Sue answered "Why yes, he did stop by for a
few minutes this afternoon."
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, "And
did he give you $500?"
In terror she assumed that somehow he had found out and after
mustering her best poker face, replied, "Well, yes, in fact he did
give me $500."
Bill, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying,
"Good, I was hoping he did. John came by the office this morning and
borrowed $500 from me. He promised me he'd stop by our house this
afternoon on his way home and pay me back."