Deepest Blue
18-09-2004, 14:53
Memo sent to all Jalna Group employees following recent management meeting:
It has been brought to our attention that certain individuals have been using foul & abusive language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from certain members of staff who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
Whilst realising the importance of staff being able to properly express themselves while communicating with colleagues, the Human Resources department has compiled a list of 'code phrase replacements'
Old Phrase------------------------New Phrase
No *****ing way------------------------I'm fairly sure that's not feasable
You're *****ing joking-----------------Really
Tell someone who gives a *****-----Have you ran that by --------------?
No c*nt told me-----------------------I was not involved in that project
Who gives a *****ing sh*t-----------Are you sure it's a problem
Eat sh*t & die-------------------------You don't say
Eat sh*t & die mother*****er--------You don't say, sir
Kiss my arse---------------------------So you would like me to help you
I do'nt have the *****ing time-------Perhaps I could work late
He's a *****ing prick-------------------He's somewhat insensitive
You haven't got a *****ing clue-----You would benefit from more training
This place is *****ed-------------------We're a little disorganised today
What sort of *****er are you--------You're new here aren't you
***** off sh*thead---------------------Well, there you go
You're a *****ing w*nker-------------You're a manager & I respect you
Go ***** yourself-----------------------Perhaps someone else could help
Ha! you're *****ed---------------------I wasn't there that day
***** off---------------------------------I'll look into it & get back to you
CheeRS Neil.
It has been brought to our attention that certain individuals have been using foul & abusive language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from certain members of staff who are more easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.
Whilst realising the importance of staff being able to properly express themselves while communicating with colleagues, the Human Resources department has compiled a list of 'code phrase replacements'
Old Phrase------------------------New Phrase
No *****ing way------------------------I'm fairly sure that's not feasable
You're *****ing joking-----------------Really
Tell someone who gives a *****-----Have you ran that by --------------?
No c*nt told me-----------------------I was not involved in that project
Who gives a *****ing sh*t-----------Are you sure it's a problem
Eat sh*t & die-------------------------You don't say
Eat sh*t & die mother*****er--------You don't say, sir
Kiss my arse---------------------------So you would like me to help you
I do'nt have the *****ing time-------Perhaps I could work late
He's a *****ing prick-------------------He's somewhat insensitive
You haven't got a *****ing clue-----You would benefit from more training
This place is *****ed-------------------We're a little disorganised today
What sort of *****er are you--------You're new here aren't you
***** off sh*thead---------------------Well, there you go
You're a *****ing w*nker-------------You're a manager & I respect you
Go ***** yourself-----------------------Perhaps someone else could help
Ha! you're *****ed---------------------I wasn't there that day
***** off---------------------------------I'll look into it & get back to you
CheeRS Neil.