View Full Version : **WARNING** tale of woe coming up
lee bishop
09-11-2006, 14:18
me and the lads at work, try to out do each other when one buys a hot chilly sauce, seeing who can eat the most teaspoonfuls in one go. today someone came in with a bottle of 'JERSEY SUICIDE CHILLY SAUCE'.
just a wet on the finger had most of them gagging and suffering a bit of lock jaw, i had to go one better and ate two teaspoonfuls in quick succession. big mistake! within the hour i was still sweating profusely, and am convinced i was begining to suffer out of body experiences, when i got the chest pains, i thought it better i went home...........:eek:
on the 3 mile drive home, i stopped twice to throw up, yes, it burned on the way up too, once in i downed a pint of milk and assumed the foetus position on the bed, only moving to answer the phone when my boss wanted to know where the **** i was. 3 hours later i have just got up and had a pee, it felt like i wee'd rusty pins, am about to go for my first shit....
wish me luck:freak:
Aaron P.
09-11-2006, 14:28
fpmsl :cat: :cat: :D
thats made me smile, nice one, oh and keep us informed how the shit went!:D
paul spence
09-11-2006, 15:07
LMFAO.1 CATS :cat: S WHISKER FOR YOU.
paul spence
09-11-2006, 15:46
howz it going?;)
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 15:47
bloody ell sounds like a bit of a punishment on you there, at least its clearing you out for the weekends bash
have you had one yet? how did it go, did it hurt, i bet its sore!:D :D :D ohhhhhh arghhhhhhhh my god.......did it go like that?
RS2000&MEXICO
09-11-2006, 16:47
lee your a mad man....:freak: :p
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 16:49
looks like hes out of action for a bit:eek:
:eek:
do you think hes ok - read this :(
hopefully not the same stuff
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005211088,00.html
my god never thought it was the bad!
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 17:28
that is some info, what people go through, that is powerful
has Lee been on the loo for 4 hours now ????????
hope he's ok
anyone give him a 'ring' to see if he's alright :D
hes alive, on the phone to him now :D
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 19:02
:sign5: f$cking mad b£stard,i want first shout on his mk2 if he dont make it through the night:angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel: :angel:
graham John
09-11-2006, 19:02
carpet bombed the shitter , eh ?:o
cheeRS
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 19:04
Just had txt piccy from Bash :eek:
http://trapcode.com/PyroPack/images/ring_of_fire.jpg
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 19:07
A bit of back ground music for you to enjoy - lol lol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ab3eVONH8M
graham John
09-11-2006, 19:07
Just had txt piccy from Bash :eek:
http://trapcode.com/PyroPack/images/ring_of_fire.jpg
:eek:
cheeRS
Frosticles
09-11-2006, 19:10
he he. fool. Spoke to him on messenger and he is suffering big time :D
This is my humour! FPMSLOL
Man i bet he is weeing lava out his arse and yelping with pain, daft bugger! :D better get the bog roll in the freezer fella! LMAO
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 19:12
:eek:
cheeRS
Have u looked at pic with this in the background though - even funnier !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ab3eVONH8M
graham John
09-11-2006, 19:24
Have u looked at pic with this in the background though - even funnier !
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ab3eVONH8M
lol, apt,
cheeRS
graham John
09-11-2006, 19:44
latest picture from the soil / vent pipe at his house...............
http://aardvark.co.nz/pjet/images/pjab05s.jpg
cheeRS
he he. fool. Spoke to him on messenger and he is suffering big time :D
oh, its just me whos blocked then
Banishit
09-11-2006, 20:27
nice one Lee, get in you
nice one Lee, get in you
....... no brian, its got in him ......... its get out now :bootyshake:
poor sod :pottytrain5:
were all behind you on this one Lee ...........................
........NOT !!!!
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 20:58
Sing along please
I am the music man
I come from down your way
and I can play
What can U play ?
I can play my arse is on fire !!!!!!!!
Ooooh Aaaarrgh
Me arse is on fire
Me arse is on fire
Me arse is on fire
Ooooh Aaaarrgh
Me arse is on fire
Me arse is - on - fire
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 20:59
just heard from farmer Giles, that Lee is out and about giving him a hand down on the farm,
Farmer giles even managed to take photo of Lee, but you cant see him tho, hes lying in the back of the trailor face down
http://www.hopwoodorganic.co.uk/DSCF0139.JPG
graham John
09-11-2006, 21:31
Rab, custom and a Dyno Robbo prepare to enter Lee's garden............
http://www.theukfranchisedirectory.net/images/pages/3-135.gif
meanwhile, the Red popster is on standby
http://www.theukfranchisedirectory.net/images/pages/2-135.gif
cheeRS (phew)
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 21:38
pmsl Gra,
meanwhile inside things dont look good
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8034/dsc03628small1kb.jpg
teeeeeeeeeeeeeeee heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D
graham John
09-11-2006, 21:44
pmsl Gra,
meanwhile inside things dont look good
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8034/dsc03628small1kb.jpg
http://www.seton.net.au/images/signs/signs/S0243.gif
cheeRS (phew)
good job his misses sent him to use the outside lav........
http://eu2.inmagine.com/img/pixtal/pt106/CD106014.jpg
graham John
09-11-2006, 22:09
lee, which one was it .........................:o
Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.
Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!
Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.
Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!
The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at a Fried Chicken joint.
Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.
custom will be next after his Meaty Pizza,
cheeRS
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 22:16
I hope Lee makes a submission to
www.ratemypoo.com (http://www.ratemypoo.com)
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 22:20
is this the stuff in question lee....................................http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a274/bigjohnie/wetfart_sm.jpg
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 22:22
this may help lee..........http://www.ringoffire.net/
RS2000CUSTOM
09-11-2006, 22:23
is this the stuff in question lee....................................http://i13.photobucket.com/albums/a274/bigjohnie/wetfart_sm.jpg
Deffo no question mate he will sting his ring no probs !
Dave1800BDA
09-11-2006, 22:24
lol disgusting tho
when its all over its over
http://funideas.com/images/products/bathroom/shitbegone.jpg
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 22:32
this will keep you occupied while your out of action.....www.funny-games.biz/catchashit.html
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 22:46
http://www.illstorm.com/store/davesinsanitychilisauce-p-205.html
bigjohnie
09-11-2006, 22:47
http://www.illstorm.com/store/davesinsanitychilisauce-p-205.html
read the description lol
come on lee tell us, have you made it thhrough the night?:D
lee bishop
10-11-2006, 08:15
hi every one, thanks for the concern, had a rough day yesterday but got better later on. i am never playing that game again.
i can even fart now without worrying..............
Trickster
10-11-2006, 08:36
How is your ring mate still burning :D
RS2000CUSTOM
10-11-2006, 09:16
Give us a ring and let me know how you got on
In second thoughts no dont bother ! - lol lol
pmsl Gra,
meanwhile inside things dont look good
http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/8034/dsc03628small1kb.jpg
Fek me, that's bog roll made from the tissue I sell, I recognise the label.
Fame at last.
Lee - never mind mate - possibly the funniest thing I have seen in ages though.
glad to hear your still with us lee, you can bring some chilli with you at weekend and show us all what you did.......:D
Dave1800BDA
10-11-2006, 11:09
up and about thats good to here lee,:D
really worried for one moment that you werent going to be able to pick me bits up weekend:rolleyes:
paul spence
10-11-2006, 11:36
up and about thats good to here lee,:D
really worried for one moment that you werent going to be able to pick me bits up weekend:rolleyes:
pmsl @ robo.:D
lee bishop
10-11-2006, 13:58
i'll be honest, i was worried i may not have made it either
Frosticles
10-11-2006, 18:50
i'll be honest, i was worried i may not have made it either
Aye but you're hard. :freak:
your ass must have stung so much! crack the baby wipes open....ahhhh!
I didn't join the forum 'till after this and seen it for the first time today. I am still chuckling hours later !
aye, it was one of the funniest threads ever :D
Dave1800BDA
05-06-2007, 23:27
I didn't join the forum 'till after this and seen it for the first time today. I am still chuckling hours later !
i take it you havent read thro bangla bangers thread:eek:
i take it you havent read thro bangla bangers thread:eek:
I was off to bed.....but curiosity and all that....:rolleyes:
Groupcracer
06-06-2007, 00:31
I didn't join the forum 'till after this and seen it for the first time today. I am still chuckling hours later !
I"m with you alminera.....afpsml.
Mind Graham's list missed the Mcshit
the one you drop whilst visiting a Mcdonalds pretending to be a customer.
There's one in Thailand I used four times in two days for the exact purpose.:p :D
ian parker
06-06-2007, 08:25
the mans a lunatic:D
I can confirm this stuff really is as bad as Lee says....tried it last weekend.....had about as much as a teardrop .....:cyclopsani:....:puke:
:Dthats made me smile, nice one, oh and keep us informed how the shit went!:D
Lee
you bell end you sure you aint a squaddie:D
pmsl!!!! first time Iv seen this thread! :hahaha:
Fair play to ya for having two teaspoons of it! :eek:
Frosticles offered us some the other week....**** that!
That gambles lad from retro ford didnt look well at all!:hahaha: ....plenty ring sting ahead for anyone who trys it me thinks!:afart::pottytrain5: ...... :hahaha:
RS MARTIN
15-05-2009, 14:40
this stuff could liven up a few bbq's this summer :whistle:
Tuscan Neil had some too - he kept kind of quiet for a while after :D
Had done it before but like a knob had some more last weeknd :banghead: :refilao:
What was I thinking? :evil3: :mad:
i had it last year :mad: ran like hell this year :D
boldy's lad had some, pmsl :eek::D
Frosticles
15-05-2009, 18:47
i had it last year :mad: ran like hell this year :D
boldy's lad had some, pmsl :eek::D
He thought he was hard till then......:D:D:D:D:D
Dave1800BDA
15-05-2009, 19:17
lol at the new tasters:D
did anyone try customs pear snaps:eek: kept the bbq going lol
That snaps was iffy stuff Dave, good for bbq's though:D
Frosticles
15-05-2009, 19:27
lol at the new tasters:D
did anyone try customs pear snaps:eek: kept the bbq going lol
Nearly set my face on fire when it went on the BBQ :eek:
Tuscan Neil
15-05-2009, 20:42
I wont be rushing out to buy any ,it took about 2 hours and quite a few ciders before the taste finally went
Nearly set my face on fire when it went on the BBQ :eek:
DID SOME ONE PUT IT OUT WITH A SHOVEL:rolleyes:
graham John
15-05-2009, 20:50
Nearly set my face on fire when it went on the BBQ :eek:
caught the top of your head though, kev
cheeRS
i stupidly tried the bloody stuff an all last weekend... :eek::eek:
christ almighty its hot !!!
2days later i near blew the arse out of the pan :D:D
Frosticles
16-05-2009, 12:20
DID SOME ONE PUT IT OUT WITH A SHOVEL:rolleyes:
Says "Mr Handsome" :rolleyes::D
lee bishop
16-05-2009, 12:35
im not sure whats worse?? that chilli sauce itself or the fact that its the same bottle that i took up in 2007 still being passed around, im sure it only has a limited shelf life :D
im not sure whats worse?? that chilli sauce itself or the fact that its the same bottle that i took up in 2007 still being passed around, im sure it only has a limited shelf life :D
lol I had a funny feeling that would be the same bottle! :eek: :rolleyes: lol
im not sure whats worse?? that chilli sauce itself or the fact that its the same bottle that i took up in 2007 still being passed around, im sure it only has a limited shelf life :D
Lets hope it hasn't gone off or it'll give people the sh*ts :rolleyes:
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